Full Version: Jennifer Love Hewitt Presents: Soccerpulse CSC
Guys The Celtic Forum Has Went Down Since Hoopy Left So Its About Time We Got It Back Up Again So I Thought I Would Make A Tread For Us And Every other Tim To Have A Bit Of Banter HAIL HAIL
http://media.putfile.com/computerman/wide
http://media.putfile.com/glasgow-celtic-fc...-connolly---foo ----- Billy Connolly Talking About Old Firm
http://media.putfile.com/glasgow-celtic-fc...-connolly---foo ----- Billy Connolly Talking About Old Firm
well im new da dis forum an it looks class but its a wee bit dead so...
just keep posting And Welcome HAIL HAIL
any jokes funny pics videos snd dem in
will this is what this banter forum is for just post funny pics u have , Movies , whatever its just to get the celtic forum Up and running cos its seemed to have died down over the past few months so it has so post pics jokes all that sorta stuff HAIL HAIL
i saw this on yahoo thought i was funny
( Chinese chimp quits smoking after 16 years )
BEIJING (Reuters) - A chimpanzee in a northwest China zoo has quit smoking after 16 years with the help of her keepers, official media reported.
The staff, worried about her declining health, weaned 27-year-old "Ai Ai" off tobacco by distracting her with entertainment and a tastier diet, Xinhua news agency said.
"The zoo keepers tried every way to divert the chimp's attention from cigarettes: a walk after breakfast, a music session after lunch and gym after dinner," Xinhua said.
She also got fried dishes and dumplings, as well as the usual diet of milk, bananas and rice, said one zoo keeper.
"I also put earphones on her so that she could enjoy some pop music from my walkman," he said.
"In the first few days, she squealed for cigarettes every now and then, but as her life became more colourful she gradually forgot about them altogether."
Xinhua attributed Ai Ai's habit to solitude and grief.
Living in a safari park in Shaanxi province, she had taken up smoking in 1989 shortly after her mate died, it said. Then she had become a chain smoker after her second mate died in 1997 and her daughter was moved to another zoo.
Xinhua did not say who had first given cigarettes to her or kept supplying them.
The Xian Evening News said the zoo was trying to find another mate for her
( Chinese chimp quits smoking after 16 years )
BEIJING (Reuters) - A chimpanzee in a northwest China zoo has quit smoking after 16 years with the help of her keepers, official media reported.
The staff, worried about her declining health, weaned 27-year-old "Ai Ai" off tobacco by distracting her with entertainment and a tastier diet, Xinhua news agency said.
"The zoo keepers tried every way to divert the chimp's attention from cigarettes: a walk after breakfast, a music session after lunch and gym after dinner," Xinhua said.
She also got fried dishes and dumplings, as well as the usual diet of milk, bananas and rice, said one zoo keeper.
"I also put earphones on her so that she could enjoy some pop music from my walkman," he said.
"In the first few days, she squealed for cigarettes every now and then, but as her life became more colourful she gradually forgot about them altogether."
Xinhua attributed Ai Ai's habit to solitude and grief.
Living in a safari park in Shaanxi province, she had taken up smoking in 1989 shortly after her mate died, it said. Then she had become a chain smoker after her second mate died in 1997 and her daughter was moved to another zoo.
Xinhua did not say who had first given cigarettes to her or kept supplying them.
The Xian Evening News said the zoo was trying to find another mate for her
das a cracker thought dis was pretty funny
oliver kahn is gay lol http://www.fungod.com/coppermine/displayim...album=19&pos=88 kissing players TUT TUT
will it can be about football just anything to get a bit of banter going on in the HOOPS forum as u no its seemed to die down over the past couple of months so anything just to get a bit of the crack going
i saw that video before pretty funny 
you would be gutted if that happened to ya
you would be gutted if that happened to ya
Cursed
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Getting Married
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing that he had ever heard, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."
Mr. Smith doesn't think the little shit is adorable anymore.
A burgular was stealin from a house when he heard a wee voice sayin "Jesus is watching you boy!" he stopped in his tracks nah it's fuck all he thought the house is empty I checked every room, he's taken all the valuables and is about to leave when again the voice appears "Jesus is watching you Boy!" he looks around to see who's said it again and this time discovers a parrot in cage, The Burgular then says "Listen Parrot I don't believe in God I'm takin this stuff and there's eff all you can do about it, I'd steal you as well but you're a pain in the arse, I'm off fuck off..", "Naw I don't believe in God either the owner's Pitt-Bull is called Jesus ha ha" mocked The Parrot.
Tom, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this
blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news came on. The news
crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building
preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Tom and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Tom says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blond replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Tom placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a
swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blond was very upset and handed her $20 to Tom, saying, "Fair's fair.
Here's your money."
Tom replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5
o'clock news and so I knew he would jump."
The blond replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again
what's the difference between a blonde & a computer?
you only need to punch instructions into a computer once!
a dog walks into B&Q and asks the guy at the counter:
Dog: you got any jobs?
Guy: jobs? would you no be better in a circus?
Dog: what would a circus want with a kitchen fitter?
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and
was pulled over by a woman police officer, also a blonde. The cop
asked to
see the blonde's driver's license. The driver dug through her purse
and
was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she
finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The
driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the
policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Getting Married
Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Johnny goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing that he had ever heard, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Johnny, you are only 10. Where will you two live?" Without even taking a moment to think about it, Johnny replies "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Johnny instantly replies, "Our allowance. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that Johnny has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Johnny won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says, "Well Johnny, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Johnny just shrugs his shoulders and says "Well, we've been lucky so far..."
Mr. Smith doesn't think the little shit is adorable anymore.
A burgular was stealin from a house when he heard a wee voice sayin "Jesus is watching you boy!" he stopped in his tracks nah it's fuck all he thought the house is empty I checked every room, he's taken all the valuables and is about to leave when again the voice appears "Jesus is watching you Boy!" he looks around to see who's said it again and this time discovers a parrot in cage, The Burgular then says "Listen Parrot I don't believe in God I'm takin this stuff and there's eff all you can do about it, I'd steal you as well but you're a pain in the arse, I'm off fuck off..", "Naw I don't believe in God either the owner's Pitt-Bull is called Jesus ha ha" mocked The Parrot.
Tom, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to this
blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 news came on. The news
crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building
preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Tom and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Tom says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blond replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Tom placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a
swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
The blond was very upset and handed her $20 to Tom, saying, "Fair's fair.
Here's your money."
Tom replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5
o'clock news and so I knew he would jump."
The blond replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again
what's the difference between a blonde & a computer?
you only need to punch instructions into a computer once!
a dog walks into B&Q and asks the guy at the counter:
Dog: you got any jobs?
Guy: jobs? would you no be better in a circus?
Dog: what would a circus want with a kitchen fitter?
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car
and
was pulled over by a woman police officer, also a blonde. The cop
asked to
see the blonde's driver's license. The driver dug through her purse
and
was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she
finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The
driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the
policewoman. "Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
this is very funny http://media.putfile.com/Lee-Evans-Airdrums Lee Evans
Hilarious mate.
Abusing players one by one!
Was funny how the two guys were shouting abuse that wouldn't offend anyone at each player!
Abusing players one by one!
Was funny how the two guys were shouting abuse that wouldn't offend anyone at each player!
QUOTE(Yorkshire Tim @ Oct 4 2005, 09:30 PM)
Hilarious mate.
Abusing players one by one!
Was funny how the two guys were shouting abuse that wouldn't offend anyone at each player!
Abusing players one by one!
Was funny how the two guys were shouting abuse that wouldn't offend anyone at each player!
It's really sad though what guys get their kicks out of, shouting at players thinking they are amusing.
On a lighter note, was that the 2-0 game in February, thought I spotted Ronald Waterreus?
www.evolver.xakep.lv/Idiot.wmv
Classic
Classic
QUOTE(mikaldinho @ Oct 5 2005, 09:10 AM)
LMAO Quality Banter! Comedy!Thats hilarious
I dunno why but the comment about Prso made me chuckle.
"Dado you big Poof."
"Dado you big Poof."
Important Bird Flu News!!
Sky News have reported that Bird Flu has struck Glasgow!!!!!
- 50.000 huns are as sick as parrots
Sky News have reported that Bird Flu has struck Glasgow!!!!!
- 50.000 huns are as sick as parrots
Ohhhhhhh, classics Mate.
here's some banter .................
Rangers FC
Rangers FC
ahha enjoyed the pictures regicfc
Link removed
lol good stuff hahah got a good laugh at the life of a hun
QUOTE(regicfc @ Nov 7 2005, 09:59 AM)
Quality
Wee Bazza and Big Marvin are on the training ground at murray park when God appears out of the sky and says "Come Fourth Marvin"
Wee Bazza replies "Fourth we'll be lucky to come Fifth"!!! thought that was a good 1
Wee Bazza replies "Fourth we'll be lucky to come Fifth"!!!
thought that was a good 1
barry ferguson goes to the docters
docter docter
every time i look in the mirror i get an erection
docter replys well barry thats cause ur a fanny
docter docter
every time i look in the mirror i get an erection
docter replys well barry thats cause ur a fanny
does it no just make you think of a MasterCard advert with the red & yellow things? Like...
Ticket for the game...£25
Kids watching the car...£1
Paradise Windfalls...£2
Pie & Bovril at halftime...£2
Seeing this greasy bawbag being sent off...priceless
QUOTE(regicfc @ Nov 6 2005, 11:57 AM)
Link removed - Life-Of-A-Hun[/url]
Yet another song, this time about the orange order and the union jack. Once again out of order. Link removed.
Regi, these songs are not acceptable on SP. I shall not warn you for this, because I assume you thought you could get away with it beforehand.
Every song will be checked by a moderator from now on. Any more lyrics which attack other religions or have profanity unsuitable for SP, will result in another warning or suspension for you.
geezajoab very funny
very funny
QUOTE(regicfc @ Nov 11 2005, 06:54 PM)
Yeah I heard that the other day it was top notch
Anyway I was taking to my dad, Rangers fan
and he told me he'd heard a story of Freddy Adu from the U.S. DC united I think, have a trail at Rangers in the new year 
Has anyone else here heard this?
I'm neither confirming or denying that rumour, but teams seem reluctant to take a chance on him in Europe, Rangers might be used as a shop window....I wouldn't say no however
What i've heard is he can't leave the US to play for another Team until he's 18. And i think he's 16 atm so he ent going nowhere for another Season or 2.
Wee bawwy gettin abused! This is the best video i've seen in quite a while! MON THE HOOPS
CHEERS UP BAWWY, YE'VE JUST BEEN BLESSED!!
Edit by CC: What was it about religion having no place on SP? Removed
CHEERS UP BAWWY, YE'VE JUST BEEN BLESSED!!
Edit by CC: What was it about religion having no place on SP? Removed
After reading about the history of the Old Firm my respect for Celtic has gone up +10 . Besides the fact I already liked you guys for having the English version of our name (Celta = Celtic), Rangers seem like real pure scum and Ibrox is a dump.
I love banter threads, haha don't kill me though guys, just jokes get it...
. Besides the fact I already liked you guys for having the English version of our name (Celta = Celtic), Rangers seem like real pure scum and Ibrox is a dump. I love banter threads, haha don't kill me though guys, just jokes get it...
Even after the Rangers game last night there were fans outside Ibrox calling for McLeish's head. Here's a pic of the angry Rangers fans
Just to start up a new banter room for the faithful. Just make sure the banter is clean lads
We'll kick this off with Voodudejnr posted about B&Q :
JOKE REMOVED BY BRIAN,
When I said nothing sectarian I meant it even if it was only a joke. Take the piss outta Mcleish and Rangers performances all you want but nothing else. Keep it football lads.
We'll kick this off with Voodudejnr posted about B&Q :
JOKE REMOVED BY BRIAN,
When I said nothing sectarian I meant it even if it was only a joke. Take the piss outta Mcleish and Rangers performances all you want but nothing else. Keep it football lads.
just noticed that there now why was it closed every thing that was in it was good crack so it was ??? so if a mod can tell me why it was closed cheers
Twas a sly move I think as to prevent backlash. Anyway, no matter we'll make this a new and improved banter room.
Hail Hail
Hail Hail
You might be surprised to find it had nothing to do with me that closing btw......before i get wrongly chastized
I did it, blame it all on me.. 
(not really no)
(not really no)
ok , will it would be great if one of yous could re-open it again thanks
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.